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  I grabbed myself and jerked rapidly, exploding in minutes. Wetness covered my hands and dripped to my stomach. My shirt was in reach next to the bed and I used it to clean off as my breath slowed to a normal pace.

  Cody and Josh were both hot to me. I clearly desired both. I closed my eyes and sighed. A threesome was a great fantasy, but would it even be a possibility in real life? No doubt this fantasy would creep in again. I would not mind, but it raised the question: how much did I really want Josh? The time was coming when I needed to tell Cody what had happened with Josh.

  There should be no secrets. If I come clean about everything, maybe the fascination with Josh would fade if he was no longer a secret and held no danger. I drifted off without having clear next steps in mind.

  When I woke from my nap, I had to remind myself that I needed a new shirt to wear and got dressed. I fixed a snack and sat down to focus on work.

  Cody texted that he would be free for dinner and offered to bring some wine if I would teach him a few things about cooking. I said he could definitely help, but he could only wear an apron while in the kitchen. I also asked if he had time to swing by the market up the highway and texted him a list when he said yes.

  He arrived as the sun was setting. From my view, it was blocked by trees and I had to imagine it was a beautiful site. Every summer I found myself relying on clocks more than usual because the light was different and nothing felt like it was the same time as it did down in Phoenix. He had the groceries, wine, and an overnight bag. “I figured I should start bringing clothes with me so I don’t have to run back to the Airstream before work.”

  “You’ll need to show me your place sometime. And, yes, you should leave some stuff here so you’re not carrying stuff back and forth. I don’t mind. I’ll clear some space in the dresser.”

  Cody winked at me, “I also brought some surprises. For later.”

  Cody’s grin was full of mischief and I knew the surprises would be a lot of fun.

  I emptied the top drawer of the dresser and crammed the contents into the ones below with a plan to reorganize later. Having a drawer for Cody made me excited—it seemed like a step forward. This was beyond casual and something to build on if we wanted to move forward. In previous relationships, there had been hesitation by one of us. Both Cody and I seemed to be ready for this step at the same time. How could I not be excited?

  Cody had a bottle of wine open and a glass poured for me. “I’m glad you had a couple beers in the fridge.

  I leaned over and kissed him on the forehead. “I’ll be sure to get more. Thanks for picking up all the stuff. I know the market is a bit of a drive.”

  “I didn’t mind at all. It was nice to have a few minutes of quiet. Where do we get started?” The counter was covered with vegetables and a couple chicken breasts.

  I pushed an onion his direction. “Lots of chopping.” He looked down with hesitation. “Don’t worry. I’ll show you what to do.” I retrieved the cutting board and a knife.

  “Didn’t you want me naked for this?”

  “Ah, yes. The apron!” Years ago, I had brought up a gag apron I had received that said “Kiss the Cook” on it. When I arrived at the cabin, one of my first stops was to see if it was still there or if possibly another guest had taken off with it. I grabbed it from its hook and tossed it Cody’s way.

  Cody disappeared into the bedroom and reappeared wearing the apron. His chest and shoulders looked strong and defined over the top of the fabric. The bib portion covered most of his slim frame, but I could picture the abs underneath. He spun to show off the outfit and I caught glimpse of the waistband and leg straps of a black jockstrap. I had said naked, but I liked his choice in accessory.

  “Have you chopped vegetables before?”

  Cody shook his head. “Not really. My usual cooking is mac and cheese and frozen pizzas.”

  I waved him over to stand in front of the cutting board. I put my arms around him and pressed up against his back. “Let me show you.” I breathed in the scent from his hair. “Good news is, we only need rough cuts of the veggies for the stir fry.” I helped him position the onion and the knife and demonstrated a proper hold. We chopped together and then asked if he was ready to try on his own. He nodded.

  I stepped back to look at his ass visible through the backless apron. Each cheek was round and firm. I wanted to stop his work and bend down to nuzzle into the crack and rim him.

  “This isn’t so hard.”

  Playtime would have to wait. He was eager to learn and I did not want to stop him.

  “Watch your fingers. Curl at the knuckles to hold the onion. Yes, like that.”

  I washed the chicken breasts and pounded them to a thin evenness. In a shallow pan I drizzled them with oil and added some seasoning to marinate. I checked on Cody’s progress. Onion was complete. “Scoop up everything into that bowl. Let’s do some of the bell peppers. Good, they had a couple colors. Makes the meal so much prettier.”

  “How was work today?”

  “Good. It was actually a little slow for a change. I helped Jim do a lot of prep work for the Fourth of July. I can’t believe it’s just around the corner.”

  The cabins would be full. The campground would be overflowing. The neighboring vacation homes would be abuzz with the owners and guests. The locals usually hosted a small fair for crafts and food. There was grill fired up for burgers and hot dogs. Off-road vehicles zipped around on the streets, kids rode bicycles, and the firefighters watched carefully to ensure nothing got too crazy. Personal fireworks were prohibited, but someone always tried to set up some bottle rockets or wild cats. I usually stayed in my cabin or even headed down to Phoenix to get away from the craziness. This year seemed promising to end up on a blanket to watch the community fireworks show with Cody.

  “Do you have a date for the Fair yet?”

  He looked up from his chopping, “Only the hottest guy around.”

  His words made me tingle and I felt like my first crush had noticed me in class for the first time. I walked over to him again and kissed his forehead and hugged him. I wished I had been naked, too.

  “If you keep talking like that, you’re going to leave me no choice but to marry you.” Marry? Did I just say that? Yes, things were going well, but marriage seemed a bit down the road.

  “Calm down, cowboy,” he said followed by a light chuckle. “Aren’t you supposed to be the one jaded by all of your former loves? Scared to ever commit again?”

  Yes. I should be. But I was not scared.

  If only I did not have those fantasies of Josh and the questions about what might have been.

  The phrase was really meant as a joke. However, there was some seriousness to it. The idea of marrying Cody was not too crazy. Not tomorrow, but someday it could be a possibility.

  “You are the marrying kind,” he said, “and we can talk about it sometime.” He reached down and rubbed my crotch. “Don’t skip the fun, casual stuff.”

  There was a lot of fun and exploring to do before we got to that bridge. “I’ll return the ring tomorrow.” I did not know how to pivot from the topic without being awkward, “Not sure why I said anything about marriage. I’m just excited about where this is going and that you’re here tonight.”

  “Me, too.” He turned towards me and kissed me. He pressed into me and I could feel his hardness.

  “I like where this is going, too. It can go there all night.”

  “After dinner. I’m starving.”

  I laughed. “Okay. But don’t be surprised if I eat really quickly.”

  I gave him some pointers on how to cut the bell peppers and he was done in no time. I prepped a pan with oil and started to brown the chicken. I took a sip of wine and realized it had been sitting there untouched. With Cody, I had something else to keep me company.

  “Tell me more about what it was like to grow up here. You’ve talked a little about your family, but there has to be so much more.”

  “Well, I think I’ve told yo
u most of the good stuff. We used to go fishing a lot. And they own a boat.” Cody tried to sound funny, but the attempt at levity was covering up some pain.

  “If you don’t want to talk about them…”

  “It’s okay. I mean, it’s not much different than a lot of stories of people I know around here. My dad worked for the power company and drove all over the Rim to check on the power lines and such. If there was ever a big storm or wildfires that came through and destroyed the poles, he could be gone for days. When he was home, he had a stocked fridge of beer and kicked back as many as he could before falling asleep in his chair.”

  I imagined the house being two separate places depending on whether or not his father was home. It sounded like he was a dark cloud that descended on the family.

  “Mom raised us boys—I have two brothers. She made extra money sewing and crafting. She’ll probably have a booth at the Fair.”

  “Will I get to meet her?”

  “I would like you to. I mentioned to her that I was seeing someone.”

  I felt a smile bubble up. Cody had mentioned me to family. This was definitely a positive sign. Still, I wondered if it was because he wanted to share what was happening in his life or if he was prepping her to be introduced to a man instead of a woman.

  “What do your brothers do now?”

  “One moved down to Phoenix and works as a mechanic. He always loved to get his hands dirty and pull things apart and put things back together. The other followed my dad’s path. He got a job with the power company and found a home a couple stools away from him at the bar.”

  Cody did not share more about either and I assumed that meant he did not stay in touch with them. They must have felt very little in common with their brother growing up, maybe feeling there was just something different about him.

  “I’ve lived apart from my parents and extended family for years now. It gets lonely sometimes.” I wanted Cody to know that just because he was not close to his family that he was not the only one who experienced that on one level or another. “I’ve tried to surround myself with friends who provide the support system I’ve needed. Like when I started coming up here. George and I became friends and I look to him almost like an uncle or father.”

  Cody was silent as he continued to work and seemed to be contemplating. After a few moments he looked up with a smile, “Okay…daddy.”

  “I think we need more than ten years difference for daddy/son talk.” I stepped over to him and slapped him on the ass and grabbed his cheek, “But I don’t mind giving you a spanking.”

  “I don’t mind either.”

  I raised an eyebrow and then slapped again, sure that when I looked later, I would see red skin.

  Cody set down the knife and vegetables and turned to me. He leaned in and kissed me on the lips, gentle but urgent. Before I could return the kisses, he moved to my neck and began to kiss from the jaw down to the shoulder. His fingers found the buttons of my shirt and began to undo them and pushed the fabric back on both sides exposing my chest and stomach. His kisses moved downward and his fingers found the top button on my shorts which he undid and moved the zipper down. He knelt as he fished my cock out took it into his mouth.

  “That feels so good,” I said looking down at him. Cody hummed in response and continued to go down to the base and back, looking up at me. The apron hung down in front of him and his naked body was exposed. His ass was red where I had slapped it. I would be looking for more opportunities to spank him in the future since it resulted in this blowjob.

  Tingles covered my body as Cody continued to work. I stroked his hair with my hand and pressed him to go deeper when he got to the base, holding him there until he began to choke and pull away. He did not stop for a break, but instead took me deep again with the next stroke.

  “Oh, god, Cody. I’m going to cum.” As I said the words I released into his mouth and my body convulsed as an intense orgasm overtook me.

  He helped put me back together as my breathing regulated. We kissed again with tongues exploring and hands holding each other close. At long last he pulled away, “Let’s finish dinner so we can get to dessert.”

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  Two days later, I was making the bed and straightening the bedroom when Beau started barking at the cabin’s front door. I looked out to find Josh standing on the other side of the screen, hand raised to knock. He saw me as I approached, “I guess dogs are better than doorbells,” he said.

  “Hey, come on in,” I said. I commanded Beau to sit and pushed the handle on the door to swing it in Josh’s direction. He stepped in and held his hand out for Beau to sniff. Once petted, he busied himself with a chew toy.

  “Sorry to bother you. I didn’t know if you would be writing.”

  “I’m just taking care of some chores. What’s up?”

  I had seen Josh out for his morning run earlier, shirtless and sweaty. He was showered and looking preppy in a polo and shorts. “Well, a couple things. It seems like everything went okay with George the other day.”

  “Yeah. He opened up about things like he has not before. He confirmed a lot of information. I think he should sit down with Molly to talk about her dad, but I think there is progress. “

  “Good. He seemed in good spirits that night. I kind of feel like it was good for him to talk to you, at least.” Josh shifted his weight from right to left and then back to right. He had something else to talk about—probably the real reason for his stopping by—and was having trouble finding the words. “Um, I also had something else to ask.”

  “Sure. Do you need me down at the office again?”

  “Oh, it’s not that. Um, I wanted to see if Ethan and I could have dinner with you and Cody one night.” Josh smiled and his cheeks were red, “Ethan’s getting a little stir crazy up here. Back home we have dinner parties all the time or are out at the bars with friends. You two are the only other gay guys we know up here…”

  “That makes sense. What did you have in mind?”

  “Well, I wanted to see if we could swing by here. We’ll bring all the food and drinks. We thought it would be nice to be away from George and the business for an evening but also away from the restaurant and the locals.”

  “Sure, we can do something here. Cody’s working the next couple evenings. Let me text him and see what night works best.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “Sure. I’d like to get to know Ethan.”

  Josh laughed, “Again, are you sure? I don’t want things to be awkward.”

  “How on earth could it get awkward?” It most certainly would be awkward, but I tried to sound sarcastic in my tone. Was I ready to see Josh and Ethan together, possibly being affectionate? Would Cody clue into anything strange?

  “I feel like alcohol is a must. What can I bring?”

  “Wine works for me. Cody prefers beer.” I went to the table where I had a notepad and pen, “If you take care of drinks, I’ll get everything for dinner. Any allergies or food preferences. I’ll be shopping in Payson, so I can’t promise that I’ll be able to support a gluten-free, vegan, or other diet that has a lot of constraints.”

  “No, we’ll be fine with just good food.” Josh smiled, “As long as the food goes with the dinner’s theme.”

  And what would dinner be without a theme? “I’ll see what I can do.” I was pretty sure Josh was kidding, but a theme could make the dinner interesting. I jotted down some main course ideas of things I knew I could make but planned to hop online to see what other recipes might spark some inspiration.

  “When you know what night works for you, let me know.” Josh looked at his watch and then moved towards the door. “I guess I should be getting back.”

  “Okay,” I said, not knowing what else to say, but feeling like we each did have something to say and were hesitating to end this conversation. If we only waited long enough the words would come.

  And if we did say these hidden things? What would be the outcome? Would I profess the desire
I felt for Josh that betrayed my growing emotions for Cody? And was that feeling based on anything real? If it no longer was forbidden would it simply fizzle into nothingness?

  Josh stepped out the door with a wave and walked towards George’s cabin. I watched him as he walked away. Since meeting him, we had not spent much time together. What did I really know about him other than what was on the surface? Once a plan was in place for George’s property and care, what did Josh want for his life? What did Josh and Ethan have in mind for their life together? What did Josh even do for a living that allowed him to come out to Arizona for the summer to do all of this? I knew nothing about him other than what I fantasized.

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  I had dinner at the restaurant and stayed for a couple glasses of wine until the crowd diminished to just a handful of patrons. The Farnhams came and went with barely a glance in my direction. Cody asked the other waiter if he minded covering for the rest of the night and got the all clear for us to leave.

  The monsoon season was finally starting to kick up storms which had left a sky masked with clouds. Winds had been gusting earlier but had died down. It was midnight when we left the restaurant and found we needed to hold onto each other in the dark to keep from tripping on the uneven ground. I did not mind being close to Cody and feeling his warmth.

  It was hard to pinpoint from which direction it came, but there was the sound of a firework shooting up, followed by the pop that signaled the burst of color and light. I looked but did not see anything through the trees.

  “Stupid people,” Cody said, “It’s much too dry to be shooting off fireworks.”

  “Do you think there will be any at the festival?”

  “Hard to say. They’ve canceled them before because of fears about fire. They do try to have some sort of show. If there isn’t one, people are upset that the holiday is ruined and go out to get their own. There are usually restrictions on the types they use in the show—and every available firefighter is ready to jump into action in case anything happens.”